Could a shorter cut make my balding crown less noticeable?

How to say “Could a shorter cut make my balding crown less noticeable?” in Japanese

In Japanese

短(みじか)めに切(き)ったら、つむじの薄毛(うすげ)って目立(めだ)たなくなるかな？

Mijikame ni kittara, tsumuji no usuge tte medatanaku naru kana?

Could a shorter cut make my balding crown less noticeable? in other languages