Asking for help in Japanese: 手伝ってくれました and 手伝ってもらいました

Level B1

Asking for help in Japanese: 手伝ってくれました and 手伝ってもらいました

By the end of this lesson you can ask for help in Japanese, say who helped you and thank them. The central idea is this: the same help can be told from the helper's side, 友達が手伝ってくれました (tomodachi ga tetsudatte kuremashita), “a friend helped me”, or from the receiver's side, 友達に手伝ってもらいました (tomodachi ni tetsudatte moraimashita), “I got help from a friend”. Both show who benefited, which 手伝いました (tetsudaimashita) alone doesn't.

Recap: three pieces that come back

These pieces come back in this lesson, even if this is the first time you see them. A verb's て form plus ください asks for an action: 飲んでください (nonde kudasai), “please drink”. の links a person to what is theirs: 友達の本 (tomodachi no hon), “a friend's book”. And ました is the polite past: 飲みました (nomimashita), “I drank”.

Today's verb uses all three. 手伝う (tetsudau) is “to help”, 手伝います (tetsudaimasu) its ます form and 手伝って (tetsudatte) its て form. The task you help with takes を, and の says whose it is, as in the second line below: 仕事 (shigoto) is “work”, and 田中さん (Tanaka-san) is a person called Tanaka.

New words

手伝う (tetsudau) is helping someone with a task, and 宿題 (shukudai) is homework. The other two are endings that join a verb's て form: てくれる (te kureru) and てもらう (te morau). Here you'll use them in the polite past, くれました (kuremashita) and もらいました (moraimashita). The image behind them is simple: on its own, くれる means someone gives something to you, and もらう means you receive it.

Model: two classmates

Listen once without reading. Two classmates talk about yesterday's homework. B tells the same help twice: first 友達が手伝ってくれました, then 田中さんに手伝ってもらいました, and 田中さん is that friend. Neither sentence says “me”, yet it's clear who was helped. 全部 (zenbu) is “all of it”, and よかったですね (yokatta desu ne) is “that's good”. In the last line, B is the helper, and the verb is plain 手伝いました.

The helper's side: が and くれました

Start with the person who helped and mark them with が: the helper is the subject. Then comes 手伝って plus くれました. That ending says the help came toward you, which is why “me” doesn't need saying. The English “a friend helped me” gives the facts; くれました also shows you were on the receiving end of something good.

The task goes before the verb with を: 友達が宿題を手伝ってくれました. Swap the person and the task: 母 (haha) is “my mother”, the word for your own mother, and 料理 (ryōri) is “cooking”.

人が手伝ってくれました

The receiver's side: に and もらいました

Now the viewpoint moves to you. You are the subject, usually unsaid, and the helper is marked with に: 友達に手伝ってもらいました, literally “from a friend, I received helping”. The person, the task and 手伝って stay as they were; only the particle and the ending change.

Keep the に. Here it doesn't mark a destination, as in 駅に行きます: it marks who the help came from. With が, as in 友達が手伝ってもらいました, the friend would become the one who received help.

人に手伝ってもらいました

Same people, two views

Compare the two lines: same event, same people. With くれました, the helper is the subject, with が. With もらいました, the receiver is the subject, and the helper takes に. The first puts the spotlight on what the other person did; the second on what you got. もらいました sits well when you had asked for the help, though it doesn't have to mean you asked.

When someone else benefits

The one who benefits doesn't have to be you. In 友達が母を手伝ってくれました, “a friend helped my mother”, くれました works because your mother is on your side. Here を marks the person helped: 手伝う takes either the person or the task with を. With もらいました, the subject is whoever received the help: 母は友達に手伝ってもらいました.

Direction matters: くれました can't describe help going out from you. 私が友達を手伝ってくれました is wrong, and you'll see what to say instead further on.

The same frame with other verbs

The frame also works with many other verbs, whenever the action did you good. These three are verbs you may already know, in the て form: 買って (katte), from 買う (kau), “to buy”; 来て (kite), from 来る (kuru), “to come”; 待って (matte), from 待つ (matsu), “to wait”.

本 (hon) is “book” and 駅に (eki ni) is “to the station”. In the last pair, the waiting is the same; 田中さんが待ってくれました acknowledges Tanaka's patience, and 田中さんに待ってもらいました tells it as something you got from Tanaka.

Model: asking and thanking

Listen once without reading. A asks a colleague for a hand, B says yes, and when the job is done A says thank you. ちょっと (chotto), “a bit”, softens the request, but てください is still direct: it suits someone close or a small task, and with someone senior it can sound too blunt. A more careful way of asking comes in a later lesson. いいですよ (ii desu yo) is “sure”, and どういたしまして (dō itashimashite) is “you're welcome”.

Saying thank you for the help

くれて (kurete) is the て form of くれる. Put it after the verb's て form and add ありがとうございます: “you did this for me, thank you”. As before, neither “you” nor “me” needs saying.

ありがとうございました (arigatō gozaimashita) closes something that is over, like a finished job. ありがとうございます (arigatō gozaimasu) fits while the moment lasts, as with someone who has just arrived or has just waited for you.

〜て／〜でくれて、ありがとうございます

When you are the helper: あげる for reference

When the help goes out from you, the safest choice is the plain verb: 友達の宿題を手伝いました. To offer, say 手伝いましょうか (tetsudaimashō ka), “shall I help you?”, with the ましょう of polite proposals, or 手伝いますよ (tetsudaimasu yo), “I'll help you”.

The last two lines are for recognizing, with no rush to use them. てあげる (te ageru) is the third ending, with あげる, “give”: 手伝ってあげました and 手伝ってあげます. It presents the help as a favor you do. Said directly to someone, it can sound as if you were doing them a kindness from above, especially with a colleague or someone senior, so don't use it to offer. You'll still hear it in other contexts, such as talking about family.

Your turn, and the summary

Tanaka helped you with your work. Cover the lines below. First, ask for a hand. Then tell someone else what happened, once from Tanaka's side and once from yours. Finally, thank Tanaka. Check only afterwards.

In short: が + 手伝ってくれました tells the help from the helper's side; に + 手伝ってもらいました tells it from the receiver's side; 手伝ってくれて、ありがとうございました thanks for it. For help that goes out from you, plain 手伝いました and 手伝いましょうか are the safe choices.

Practise this lesson

Next lessons