Giving and receiving in Japanese

Level A2

Giving and receiving in Japanese

English “give” and “receive” already describe an exchange from different participants’ viewpoints. Japanese adds another distinction: あげる and くれる both mean “give,” but くれる presents the gift as coming to the speaker or someone on the speaker’s side, while もらう presents the exchange from the recipient’s viewpoint. These viewpoints also apply to helpful actions when the verbs follow an action verb’s て-form. Pay attention to the particles, who benefits, and whether the exchange is polite or casual.

Who gives, who receives, and whose viewpoint

VerbGiverRecipientThing givenViewpoint
動詞あげる人受け取る人物視点
あげるが／はにをあげる人
くれるが／はにを私・私の側
もらうに／からが／はを受け取る人

Giving something outward with あげる

Use あげる to describe giving from the giver’s viewpoint, usually to someone other than the speaker. The recipient can belong to the speaker’s family: 「妹に本をあげました。」 means “I gave my sister a book.” Speaker-side membership is relative to the participants and viewpoint, not a fixed division between family and outsiders. The giver takes が or は, the recipient に, and the thing を; understood participants can be omitted. 「妹はケンに本をあげた。」 describes the sister giving Ken a book. Here, ました is polite past and た is plain past, used casually.

あげる人は受け取る人に物をあげる。

Giving to the speaker’s side with くれる

Use くれる when the recipient is the speaker or someone on the speaker’s side, such as a family member. The giver is marked with が or は, and the recipient with に; the recipient is often omitted when understood. For example, 「ケンが本をくれました。」 means Ken gave me a book. English simply says “give” in both directions, but Japanese chooses くれる when the gift comes toward the speaker’s side. 「くれました」 is polite; 「くれた」 is casual.

あげる人が私・私の側の人に物をくれる。

Describing a gift from the recipient’s viewpoint with もらう

Use もらう when the recipient is the subject: it presents the event as receiving something. Mark the giver with に or から, and the thing received with を; the recipient is often understood from context. For example, 「ケンから本をもらいました。」 means “I received a book from Ken.” English can describe the same event as “Ken gave me a book,” but Japanese uses もらう when you put the recipient’s viewpoint first. 「もらいました」 is polite; 「もらった」 is casual.

受け取る人はあげる人から物をもらう。

Reading the particles to identify participants

English word order often tells you who gave what to whom; in Japanese, the particles show each role, and the subject may be omitted. With あげる and くれる, に marks the recipient and を marks the thing; with もらう, に or から marks the giver. Compare 「妹に本をあげました。」, where 妹 is the recipient, with 「妹はケンに本をあげた。」, where 妹 is the giver. In 「ケンが本をくれました。」, the gift comes to the speaker’s side; in 「ケンから本をもらいました。」, the speaker is the understood recipient.

Three ways to describe doing something for someone

These forms attach to a verb’s て-form and show a giving or receiving viewpoint for the action. 「てあげる」 presents the action as a benefit given to someone; 「てくれる」 presents it as a benefit received by the speaker or someone close to them; 「てもらう」 presents the recipient as receiving someone’s help. English often uses “for” or “have someone do,” but Japanese shows the viewpoint in the verb ending.

Doing something for someone with てあげる

Attach あげる to the action verb’s て-form to present an action as a benefit given to someone. The subject performs the action. 「妹に本を読んであげました。」 means “I read the book to my sister”; 「ケンがユミにドアを開けてあげた。」 presents Ken as opening the door for Yumi. A beneficiary can sometimes take に, but do not automatically add に for English “for”: participant particles also depend on the action verb. The polite offer 「ドアを開けてあげます。」 can sound presumptuous because it explicitly presents your action as a favor. Here, ました and ます are polite endings; た is plain past.

行為をする人が相手に動詞のて形＋あげる。

An action done for the speaker’s side with てくれる

Attach くれる to the action verb’s て-form when someone’s action benefits the speaker or someone presented as on the speaker’s side. The subject performs the action: 「ケンがドアを開けてくれました。」 presents Ken’s action as help received by the speaker. The beneficiary can be named, as in 「ユミが妹に本を読んでくれた。」 Here に marks the person read to; beneficiary particles depend on the action verb, so に is not automatically added for every beneficiary. 「くれました」 is polite past and 「くれた」 is plain past. The plain question 「ドアを開けてくれる？」 is a casual request.

行為をする人が動詞のて形＋くれる。

Receiving someone’s help with てもらう

Use [person receiving the benefit] は [person doing the action] に [verb in て-form]＋もらう to describe receiving someone’s help. For example, 「ケンにドアを開けてもらいました。」 means “I had Ken open the door for me.” The person who does the action is marked with に, as the giver is with もらう for things. 「ドアを開けてもらえますか？」 is a polite request: it asks whether you can receive the favor of having the door opened. Use the polite ending ますか with people you address politely; the plain form is casual.

恩恵を受ける人は行為をする人に動詞のて形＋もらう。

Finding who does the action and who benefits

In these forms, keep the action’s agent separate from the person who benefits. With あげる, に commonly marks the recipient of the help; with くれる, the agent is marked with が and the speaker-side recipient may be omitted or named; with もらう, に marks the agent while the recipient is the subject. Compare 「妹に本を読んであげました。」 (I read to my sister), 「ケンがドアを開けてくれました。」 (Ken opened it for me), and 「ケンにドアを開けてもらいました。」 (I received Ken’s help opening it). English “for” does not by itself tell you which person Japanese will put in the subject role.

Thanking someone for help

When someone does something for your side, てくれる makes the benefit clear, as in 「ケンがドアを開けてくれました。」 You can thank them with 「ありがとうございます。」 or, for more emphasis, 「どうもありがとうございます。」 The polite forms fit a polite exchange. English can state the action without encoding that it was a favor, so Japanese often makes the helpful viewpoint explicit.

Making a polite request with てもらう

A polite request can ask whether you may receive someone’s help: 「ドアを開けてもらえますか？」 The exchange continues with 「はい、もちろんです。」, 「どうもありがとうございます。」, and 「どういたしまして。」 The ますか ending keeps the request polite, and the thank-you and reply suit the same register. This form presents the action as a favor you receive rather than a command.

Making a casual request with てくれる

With someone you speak to casually, 「ドアを開けてくれる？」 asks them to open the door for you. 「うん、開けるよ。」 is a casual reply, and 「いえいえ。」 can respond to thanks. The plain question ending くれる？ is casual. However, the dialogue’s 「ありがとうございます。」 is polite: its informal label does not match the Japanese expression. A polite thank-you can occur within an otherwise casual conversation.

Offering help without assuming it is wanted

「ドアを開けてあげます。」 states that you will do the action as a benefit, but saying あげる can sound presumptuous if the other person has not asked for help. A question leaves the choice with them: the polite 「ドアを開けましょうか？」 or the casual 「ドア、開けようか？」. Use the polite form with someone you address politely and the plain form with someone you speak to casually. English “I’ll do it for you” can also sound presumptuous, but Japanese あげる makes the favor viewpoint explicit.

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